Blog post recovered from 7 months prior to "Impact Day" found using key words. All data points that could be used for personal identification have been removed.
Guys. GUYS.
Holy crap.
Okay, so. You know the rumours, right? The vigilante. Apparently our city is so overrun by gang activity, one person has taken it upon themselves to clean up the streets, or whatever. You know, fight crime, restore peace and justice, punish people in the name of the moon, whatever. And you’re rolling your eyes, I know you are, because I did too.
You GUYS.
I saw him except it isn’t a him it’s totally a her and I will fight anyone who says otherwise. Okay no that’s a bit drastic. BUT I totally did see her and THAT’S NOT ALL.
So, I was walking home from running to the shops, because dammit I need donuts at 11:30 at night, okay? And lo and behold, thugs emerge. Well, they weren’t really bothering me, I think they were robbing a house or a car or something. I was too busy walking the other way, but, BUT.
She appeared out of nowhere. Or like, literally jumped down from the roof, it was hella dramatic. She had this long billowy coat (that seemed ill advised but hey I’m no crime fighting expert) and this creepy mask that looked like a, I dunno, a hockey mask? But with weird glowing eyes. And these thugs, they all pull out guns, like that’s normal, and start shooting, so she’s gotta have some kinda reputation among them. Which I guess is pretty cool.
Thing is, she didn’t do any fancy kung-fu shit and dodge the bullets. This isn’t The Matrix. She just got shot. Like, a hundred times.
Then she got up.
She got the fuck up.
Like, I saw the bullets hit her. There’s no way she didn’t get shot up. So how did she stand up again?
I’m telling you, real live, legit superhero. They’re real, and for some weird fucking reason, they’re in Melbourne.
Suck it, New York.
Wait this probably means we’re getting the next earth-ending event, too. Fuck.
BRB moving to Canada.