Month: January 2017

Eleven Months Before Impact Day

Half an hour later, we were crouched down behind some bushes off the side of the road, and I wasn’t any closer to knowing what she had planned. I didn’t even know where we were.

“Okay, where is this?” I asked.

“Well, I was thinking about your whole night-time vigilante thing, and I know that you can’t die or anything, but you’re not exactly Wolverine, right?”

“No, definitely not,” I said. “I heal way slower, and my bones are definitely not unbreakable.”

“Right. So I thought you probably need a few tools to make life a little easier for you.”

Well, that was unexpected. So tonight was about helping me with that? That was… surprisingly sweet of her.

“Like what?”

“Well for starters, a bulletproof vest,” she said, and I winced. I had definitely not enjoyed being shot. “Also some crowd control gear, since I know you don’t want to kill anyone you don’t have to.”

It felt weird, having someone be supportive of what I realised was a fairly ridiculous idea. It was a good kind of weird though, kind of like… the antithesis of loneliness?

“And we’re gonna get that here?” I asked, still not entirely sure where here was.

“Well, not here here. It’s actually across the road.”

I turned slightly, looking over my shoulder at the large, well-lit building across the road. It was a storage facility, where people rented lockable spaces to keep their junk in.

“So what are we doing here?” I asked. “Also, um, how are we going to get any of the stuff that’s in there?”

I also wanted to ask why she thought we’d find what we were looking for in a storage facility, but I assumed she had a reason for it. She was too practical to just hope for a random chance.

“We’re… kind of going to steal it,” she said quietly.

“I don’t know how I feel about it,” I told her. Stealing wasn’t exactly the shining start I wanted for my anti-crime career.

“Hear me out,” she pleaded. “Across the road, in that storage facility, a dirty cop has been stockpiling his own little collection, probably to sell it illegally later.”

“How on earth did you find that out?”

“Because the guy was one of my mum’s boyfriends for a while, and I always do a little digging on the ones that stick around more than a week.”

Boy, that was a sobering reminder of just how unstable her life was. Even still, all she was thinking about was how to help me. I felt incredibly lucky, and just a little mad.

“Damn,” I said, not entirely sure what else I could have added.

“Hey, it came in handy this time,” she said brightly. “So, guilt-free, right? This stuff’s better in your hands than not being used.”

She did have a point. She also knew exactly what to say to reassure me, and I wasn’t yet sure if that was something to be happy about, or worried.

“I don’t suppose your plan extends to us actually getting our hands on this stuff, does it?” I asked, looking over at the building again. “These places aren’t exactly light on security.”

“I have a few ideas,” she said, undeterred.

“Oh dear…”

“So, the real problem we have,” she said, excited, “is the security cameras. Believe it or not, they’re all being watched by one guy. Or girl, I guess. There are a few guards on patrol, but they’re easy to avoid. The only problem is if the camera guy sees something, and calls them over.”

“How do you know all this?” I asked, feeling a little like I’d just stumbled into a heist movie. Which probably wouldn’t have been so bad, except that I’d never stolen anything in my life.

“I cased the joint,” she said proudly.

“You think you’re so cool right now, don’t you?”

“How long did you say you can hold your breath for?” she asked, ignoring my teasing.

“What? I don’t know, like twenty minutes? I get a little dizzy, but-“

“Twenty minutes is more than enough,” she said, grinning. Then her expression grew serious. “Now, this part is a little dicey, but bear with me, okay?”

She looked genuinely concerned, but whether she was worried I would judge her, or tell her I hated her idea, I wasn’t sure. It made me dread asking what the next part of her plan was.

“Alright…”

“Have you ever heard of a drug called Fentanyl?” she asked, her voice hushed.

“No?”

“Figures. It’s mostly used as a painkiller, sometimes an anaesthetic, but in 2002, a weaponised version of it was used to knock out a bunch of terrorists in a hostage situation.”

She said it so casually, like that was a completely normal thing to know. I had no idea how to respond.

“And that helps us because…?”

“Well, Fentanyl isn’t actually that hard to get, and I’m more clever than I look,” she said. I had to think about that for a few seconds. Was she actually suggesting…

“How did you get your hands on medical anaesthetic?”

“Best not to ask,” she said quickly. “I spent a lot of time on the library computers at school. Used someone else’s login. And now, I have this.”

She pulled out of her bag a small, black object, and handed it to me. It was a phone, fairly old, and powered off.

“A crappy phone?”

She’d never owned a phone, since she didn’t have any money, and her mum wouldn’t ever get her one. It didn’t seem like she was announcing her sudden acquisition of one to me.

“Just the case,” she said, a little too satisfied with herself for me to not be suspicious. “Inside it is a dispersion mechanism for a modified Fentanyl gas.”

If it had been anyone else, I wouldn’t have believed them. I was still having a hard time believing she’d been able to manage something like that, but the earnest look on her face was very convincing, and there was really no reason for her to lie about it.

“And it won’t hurt or kill anyone?” I asked, giving her the same courtesy of belief she’d always given me.

“There’s like, a fifteen percent change it could be fatal,” she said, looking away.

“Rachel.”

“Chances go down if we call an ambulance, just to make sure. And tell them to have naloxone handy.”

“Where did you learn all this stuff?” I wasn’t sure whether to be worried or impressed. Either way, I was glad she was working with me, and not against me.

“Nowhere as fancy as you’d imagine,” she said, shrugging. “Anyway, all you need to do is go up to the security room, get him to let you in, then release the gas and hold your breath.”

“Seems like there’d be easier ways…”

“I’m sorry, do you have a better plan?”

“Fine, fine. How am I going to manage getting into the security booth? I can’t imagine they just let anyone in.”

She wouldn’t look me in the eye, biting her lip the same way she always did when being forced to do something she didn’t want to do.

“Rachel…”

“Well, he’d have to be a real monster to turn away a teenage girl with a stab wound, right?”

I almost laughed, but caught myself just in time. I was seeing a side of her I’d never seen before, clever and calculating, and every surprise made me feel a little closer to her, no matter what it was.

“When did you turn into a supervillain?” I asked, genuinely impressed with her. “I never would have thought of that, but it’s brilliant!”

“What makes you think I haven’t always been like this?” she asked, finally meeting my eye, a little of her confidence returning.

“Well, this is gonna be one Hell of a date, if nothing else,” I said, stretching out. “I’m assuming you brought the knife?”

I could see now why she’d given me a change of clothes.

“I try to be memorable, if nothing else,” she said, digging around in her backpack again. She actually did pull out a kitchen knife, and I felt a slight discomfort in my stomach. She looked concerned again. “You sure about this?”

“I’ve lived through worse,” I said, trying to sound casual about it. Truth be told, I knew it was going to hurt, a lot, but I was willing to suffer it, and I didn’t want to say a bad word about her plan.

“Once the guy is unconscious, get right out of there, and meet me at unit E17. We’ll bust open the door, grab as much as we can carry, and book it.”

“Don’t the cameras record?”

“Not tonight,” she said. “While you’re knocking out the guard, I’ll be introducing the server to an electromagnet. I’ve already fucked with their external connection, so none of the data will be copied off-site.”

“You really do think of everything, don’t you?”

“I have my moments.”

She smiled at me, and I felt my heart flutter. That could have easily been because of the knife she was holding, though.

“Alright, let’s do this,” I said, gritting my teeth and pulling the hoodie over my head. “Right in the gut, hard as you can.”

“You know, if Sadie saw this…”

“Just stab me, you wimp.”

“You’re a true romantic, you know that?” she muttered.

She pulled the knife back, grabbed my shoulder, and drove the blade into me, just as hard as she could.

 

Next: If It Takes A Thousand Lifetimes

Eleven Months Before Impact Day

“It feels weird being out this late,” Rachel said, in between mouthfuls of burger. The way she tore into it, it made me worry she hadn’t eaten properly in days.

We were sitting on the top level of an empty car park, legs dangling over the edge, completely alone. Our perch protected us from the wind, so it was eerily calm and quiet. Above us, there wasn’t a single cloud in the sky. Just stars, gently twinkling.

“You worried?”

“A little, but I’m still glad I’m here,” she said. “Thanks for the food.”

I was so glad I could trust her, in that moment. I needed to be able to believe her when she said things were okay.

“Oh, it’s not a gift,” I said, a little less nonchalantly than I’d hoped. “It’s a bribe.”

“Well, it’s working. What is it you want?”

God, that smile. It was like staring into the face of the world’s cutest kitten, only intensified tenfold.

“Oh, you know. Everything,” I said, leaning back on my hands and staring up at the sky.

“Don’t hold your breath,” she said, laughing.

“I can hold my breath for a pretty long time, you know.”

“Well, you’re welcome to try, but I’ve never known you to be all that patient,” she said.

“Yeah, I’m really not.”

“Heh.”

We sat in silence for a few minutes, just watching the stars and enjoying the peacefulness. That said, I doubted either of us actually felt all that peaceful. I certainly didn’t. One look at her and I knew she felt the same.

“So,” I said, barely able to get my mouth to work.

“Yes?”

“We should talk,” I managed to say, letting all of the air in my lungs out in the process.

“Yeah,” she said, staring down at her lap. “I’ve been thinking the same.”

My heart was pounding against the insides of my chest, and I was breathing in quick, short bursts. The next part was crucial, because neither of us knew what the other wanted to say. All we knew was that if we wanted different things, there wasn’t an easy way to reconcile that.

“Anything you want to start with?” I asked hopefully.

“God, no,” she said, obviously as nervous as I was. I didn’t know if that was a good sign or a bad one.

“Damn.”

“Sorry,” she said, sounding a little more sincere than I would have liked.

“It’s okay. I’m just worried I’m gonna make a fool of myself,” I said.

“More than usual, you mean?” she teased.  That was good. It felt normal. Natural.

“That is just patently untrue,” I said indignantly. “Slanderous, even.”

“Sure, sure. You’re a paragon of grace and elegance.”

She laughed, and it instantly relaxed me. Being around her, it was an incredible mix of exciting and soothing.

“You know, I think I’m starting to have a change of heart,” I said threateningly, but hopefully not too threateningly. It was only meant to be playful.

“Alright, alright,” she said, resting her elbows on her knees and her chin in her hands. “I’m sorry. I’m just nervous.”

“You’re nervous?”

“Well…”

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. The fresh air was soothing, and it eased my frayed nerves a little.

“Do you feel any differently to, you know, the last time we talked?” I asked. It felt like my heart stopped beating until she answered.

“What? No, of course not!” she said, looking alarmed. “Do… do you?”

So her feelings hadn’t changed. No second thoughts, no regrets. She’d have some something if she wasn’t certain. That knowledge had an immediate calming effect. I realised that the uncertainty was the part that had been the hardest to deal with. With that out of the way, I was ready to keep going.

Don’t screw this up, Charlie.

“Well, I’ve been thinking about it a lot,” I said, slowly, carefully. “Like, pretty much constantly. And I’m not going to lie to you, I’ve been really confused.”

Her expression turned serious. “Look, Charlie, if you don’t want to, you know… It’s okay,” she said, her voice breaking a little.

“I… I think I do want to, though,” I said, feeling my face burning. I couldn’t look at her.

“You do?” she asked, sounding genuinely surprised. Then, “Wait, what exactly is it that you want?”

That was the question I’d been dreading, because I honestly didn’t know how to answer it. I wanted to do what she wanted to do, but I couldn’t exactly say it like that, could I?

“I’m a little hazy on the details,” I said, feeling kind of pathetic. “But I really like you, and I want to, um, you know…”

Make you happy. I actually couldn’t even finish the sentence. It wasn’t awkwardness that I felt so much as vulnerability, which was a feeling I didn’t have a lot of experience with. No, scratch that. It was a feeling I’d spent most of my life actively trying to avoid.

“Are you asking me out?” she asked, her tone regaining just a little of her usual confidence, and even a hint of sly teasing.

“Maybe?”

“Wow.”

“Shut up, I’ve never done this before,” I grumbled.

“Charlie, of course I want to go out with you,” she said, her hand resting on mine. If possible it felt like my face somehow got even hotter.

“That almost sounds like there’s a ‘but’ coming…”

“Well, I mean, we probably need to talk about a few things,” she said, her practical side starting to take back over again. That was a relief to me, because her practical side was a lot easier to deal with, or at least easier to understand.

“Yeah, that’s putting it mildly,” I conceded.

“Should we tell anyone?” she asked, and I could already see the beginning of her mental checklist. That was good. Structure was good.

“Do you want to tell anyone?” I asked, not quite knowing the answer to that myself.

“Well, I don’t want to keep it a secret,” she said, squeezing my hand. “But at the same time…”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. Maybe we should just keep it to ourselves for now.”

Something about that felt profoundly disappointing, like we’d already lost a battle we didn’t want to fight in the first place. Still, we both had enough to deal with without adding other people’s politics into the mix.

“We still can’t see each other very much,” she pointed out, her voice heavy.

“We’ll just have to make the most of the time we do have,” I said, though I hadn’t actually seriously considered that point before. “Or figure out a way to manage more.”

“As long as you’re okay with that,” she said.

Okay, that was as close to a perfect time to ask as I was ever going to get. I had to say it. Even if I wasn’t sure I wanted the answer.

“Are you okay with me being, y’know, me?” I asked, and I know she could feel my hand trembling. She squeezed it again, and slid a little closer to me.

“Come one, who wouldn’t want their girlfriend to be an immortal ghost whisperer?”

I almost didn’t hear her oddly touching description of me, because my brain hitched on the world ‘girlfriend’. It surprised me to hear it. It surprised me even more to realise that just one word could hold that much power.

“Girlfriend?”

“That… just kind of slipped out,” she said, embarrassed.

“I like it,” I said, just as embarrassed.

“You do?”

“Shut up.”

We were close enough that our shoulders were touching. Even though we’d sat that close dozens of times before, it felt like the most intimate moment we’d ever shared.

“That’s not what I meant, though,” I said, wishing I wouldn’t.

“What do you mean, then?”

“I’m not, you know. Romantic. Or whatever. I dunno how. I might never be like that,” I said, surprised at how much the admission frightened me.

“Oh,” she said. “I don’t think I really want that, though?”

“You don’t?”

“I think I just want to be honest. If we can keep being honest, I think things will be okay, you know?”

“I hope so,” I said, squeezing her hand.

“What about Sadie?” she asked, changing the subject.

“I hadn’t even thought about that,” I lied. I’d been going over what I was going to say to Sadie in my head for days, but I hadn’t been able to come up with anything, not without talking to Rachel first.

“Do you think she’ll figure it out on her own?”

“Probably,” I said. Sadie wasn’t exactly oblivious, and she’d already told me she was suspicious about our relationship. Hell, it was almost like she knew before I did.

“Does she still not like me?” Rachel asked, and I winced. I found myself wishing I hadn’t shared that with her.

“She’s going to have to deal with it.”

“I wish I could talk to her,” she said wistfully.

“I mean, I could act as a medium, but…”

“It’s not the same,” she said, and I agreed with her. It would have felt entirely too weird.

From the very first time I’d told her about Sadie, she’d never once asked me to prove it. She’d never tried to force an interaction with Sadie in any way, even when I’d told her Sadie was present. Trying to get the two of them to talk now, it would have just felt weird.

“I guess not.”

“There was one other thing,” she said, so quietly I almost didn’t hear her.

“Yeah?”

“Would it… Would it be okay if I… Um…”

She trailed off. When I glanced over at her, I could see that she was blushing even harder than I was. Her gaze was fixed intently in the other direction, and I could feel her hand shaking a little.

“Rachel?”

“I kind of want to kiss you,” she mumbled.

“Oh,” I said, without thinking. I was surprised and probably the most nervous I’d been all night. It took me a second to realise that reaction probably wasn’t the one she was looking for, and I felt like I’d just messed everything up.

“Um…”

Oh god, I couldn’t say anything else. I needed time to think, but she was waiting for me to say something, instead of just staring at her like an idiot.

“What if I’m bad at it?” I asked, feeling like it was the most serious issue I’d ever been faced with in my life.

“What?”

“What if I’m a bad kisser?” I asked again, like the biggest dork in the universe.

“Are you being serious right now?”

“Am I not allowed to be worried about that?”

“Well, what if I’m a bad kisser?” she asked, frowning at me.

“I won’t even know if you’re a bad kisser, I’m gonna be too busy focussing on whether I’m bad or not,” I told her.

“So…”

“Oh.”

“You are so cute,” she said, reigniting my cheeks with a ferocious new wave of blushing.

“Shut up.”

Without me realising entirely how it happened, our faces were very close together, our foreheads just lightly resting against one another. Her fingers wrapped around mine, and for a few agonisingly intense seconds, we held that position, staring into each other’s eyes.

I don’t know which of us closed the distance, but the moment her lips touched mine, it didn’t matter. Physically, the sensation was nothing special; a little wet, a little warm, a little soft. It didn’t feel like a physical act, though. It felt like a whole new kind of connection, one that made every nerve in my body tingle.

My hand grabbed the front of her coat, holding her close to me, the action almost subconscious. All I wanted was to just melt into her, to press myself against her, to never let her go. If I’d had any doubts before that moment, they were all gone after, at least momentarily. All I could think about was how unbelievably perfect that moment was, and how I never wanted it to end.

When we pulled away, we both smiled shyly at each her, her biting her lip cutely. We stayed that way for a little longer, just enjoying the closeness.

“So…?” I said, when the silence became too much to bear.

“Too early to say,” she said solemnly.

“What?”

“I’m going to need to run a few more tests,” she said smugly. “For science, you understand.”

I shoved her playfully. “Idiot.”

“Did you not like it?” she asked, giving me her puppy dog eyes again.

“I didn’t say that.”

“So?”

“I am not going to say it,” I insisted.

“You either have to say it, or do it again,” she said authoritatively.

“I’m not falling for that,” I told her.

“You totally are, though,” she retorted, and damn her, she was right.

“Are you going to be like this all the time now?” I asked. She frowned, and pulled away.

“Sorry, I didn’t meant o be annoying…”

“No, I actually kind of like it,” I said, worried I’d already managed to upset her. That had to be some kind of record, right?

“You don’t have to say that just to make me feel better,” she replied sullenly.

“I really am happy,” I told her, squeezing her hand.

“Really?”

“I promise,” I said, and as soon as I did, her face cracked into the most adorably, infuriatingly smug smile I’d ever seen.

“Wow, that was easier than I expected.”

“You suck,” I said. “I take it back.”

“Too late, I already heard it,” she said cheerfully.

“Well I hope it was worth it, because it’s the last nice thing I’m gonna say for a while,” I told her petulantly.

“It was totally worth it. Also, I probably need to get home soon.”

Until she said that, I’d completely forgotten that the only reason she could even be out of the house was because her mum was out, and we had no idea when she’d be back again. We absolutely needed to get Rachel back home again.

“Oh shit, what time is it?” I asked, scrambling to pull my phone out of my pocket to check.

“I really don’t want to know.”

“I don’t want to get you in trouble,” I said, frowning a little.

“Me either, but I don’t want to have to leave you, either,” she said, wrapping her arm around mine affectionately.

“I’ll come by again in a couple of nights, okay?”

“Oh yeah!” she said, her eyes lighting up. “Actually, I had something I wanted to do with you.”

“You did?”

“Well, it might seem a bit boring after tonight, but…”

“I’ll let you surprise me, then,” I said, wondering what she could possibly be planning. Whatever it was, I was just glad to be able to spend more time with her.

“So trusting all of a sudden.”

“Hey, I always trust you,” I said defensively.

“And so you should.”

“Alright, get out of here,” I said, giving her a friendly shove.

“One more time before I go?” she asked, tugging on my arm.

“…Okay,” I said, wondering if I would ever stop blushing.

 

Next Week: That Would Be Normal